Codename: Kids Next Door Math Word Problems
by bsc9999
Summary: Just because I was doing math and I was bored, I noticed all my word problems were marked with numbers. Question 362 just made me think of our dear Supreme Commander, and the next of her dear germophobic younger brother. And thus this was born.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: Okay, here's the thing. I'm doing math, right? And all the word problems are marked by numbers. So then, I think, like, dude, that'd be funny if word problem number 86 had Fanny in it counting her Rainbow Monkeys or something. Or if number 362 has Rachel in it wondering how long it's been since Nigel had left or whatever. So, just to get this clear, I WAS BORED. End of story. **

**I don't own KND, and I didn't invent word problems. To whoever who invented word problems, get a life. **

Codename: Kids Next Door: Math 

Question 1: Nigel has been away from earth for two more years than Abby has turned twelve since the last season of Codename: Kids Next Door but before OPERATION: I.N.T.E.R.V.E.I.W.S. because in that she is an adult. How many years has Nigel been away from his home?

a) What the heck?  
b) Um…let's see…carry the 27…I think, at least…  
c) Who are we talking about again?  
d) Two, I think. Or maybe…four? Dang it…I've got it! No…

Question 2: Hoagie is trying to invent something that will let Abby listen to her beloved mp3 player without burning up the battery too fast. He's spent five more hours on it a day than Kuki spends with her Rainbow Monkeys a day. Kuki spends twice as many hours with her Rainbow Monkeys than Wally spends blowing stuff up. Wally spends two hours a day blowing stuff up. How many hours has Hoagie worked on his invention?

a) No way! He spends _five more hours _than Kuki with her Rainbow Monkeys? Now that's real dedication!  
b) What a geek.  
c) Wally really should go see a counselor…  
d) Hoagie has worked nine hours on his invention. Duh. Or it might be ten. Or eleven, I dunno, one of 'em…

Question 3: Kuki, on a scale of one to ten, likes her Rainbow Monkeys two-point-five more than is relatively possible. On a scale of one to ten, how much does she like Rainbow Monkeys?

a) If it's more than possible, how can she like Rainbow Monkeys that much?  
b) Rainbow Monkeys are ugly stuffed pillows with brand names and evil fixed smiles.  
c) Rainbow monkeys, rainbow monkeys, oh, so very round and super chunky, bringing love wherever they go, everyone's made of a big rainbow!  
d) Me gives up. It's like, impossible. Like, what am I supposed to do? Like, make something up?

Question 4: Wally has more than a million fangirls in the world. Are you one of them?

a) What type of cruddy _**MATH**_ question is this?  
b) Who wouldn't be a fangirl? –stares off into space dreamily-  
c) Ummm…I'm a dude. That'd be…well, like…sorta sick.  
d) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! NUMBUH FOUR PWNS!!

Question 5: Abby's mp3 player has two gigabytes of space on it. If a song takes up approximately five megabytes on her mp3 player, how many songs can she hold, at most?

a) Well, if I were her, I wouldn't hold just songs…maybe a movie or two…and a podcast, at the least…  
b) It depends on what songs are on there. Hello? Do you know how much space Reliant K songs take up? –shakes head-  
c) Umm…Abby doesn't listen to Reliant K…  
d) I give up. How many megabytes are in a gigabyte? Why won't you tell us? Just because you're some computer geek with no life doesn't mean we all are.

Question 6: R.O.B.O.B.R.A.D.L.E.Y. can beat up any teenager. Do you think he could beat you?

a) Isn't this supposed to be a math question? This is just like that weird fangirl question!  
b) No. He's a skunk, for cryin' out loud!  
c) I'm not a teenager yet. I'm part of the Kids Next Door organization! I'm a future generation of Codename: Kids Next Door. I'm Sonya and Lee's granddaughter! **(A/N: Sorry, random. Just thought it'd be weird…) **  
d) Well, if he beat Cree…

**Well, since I'm lazy, and I'm working on like twenty more fanfictions not even posted yet, that's all I'm writing. Review, or I'll whack you with Abby's hat. And that thing has a heft to it. Just ask Hoagie. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Yay! An update to the KND word problems! –smiles- For this, I'll be doing Numbuhs 9, 11, 12, 13, 23, 35, 60, 83, 84, 85, and 86. Also, these aren't all just going to be math. That got too hard. It will now just be a bunch of random questions. And one more thing…you don't have to answer the questions! This isn't really a quiz, just something that you can read and laugh about. So now that's settled…let us begin. **

Question 9: Maurice has been working undercover for the Kids Next Door since he turned thirteen. Do you support this undercover teens stuff?

a) Yes. We need more teens. These kids are all crazy. They'll do something, someday, that will ruin the whole organization.  
b) Heck no. Teenagers…they're evil. They'll betray us all.  
c) Depends on the teenager. For Maurice, yes. Because he's really hawt. For Chad, yes. Because he's also really hawt.  
d) AHHHH!! TEENAGER! –runs away screaming- Heck no.

Question 11: What do all you people think of Cree?

a) Cree? Who's Cree?  
b) Moron. That picture of her kissing Numbuh Two has scarred me for life.  
c) I think Cree/Hoagie is adorable. They should make more.  
d) AHHH!! TEENAGER!! –runs away screaming-

Question 12: One word: Betrayal.

a) One word: What-the-heck?  
b) You figured that out on your own, did you?  
c) Thank you, my friend, Numbuh 12. You have done well. –evil cackle-  
d) She only did it because she figured she would betray anyways. Why not just betray while she's young? –kids angrily mob-

Question 13: When Numbuh 13 was tagged in _Operation I.T., _what was _your _reaction?

a) Omigosh, we're gonna freakin' DIE!  
b) Well…this is unfortunate.  
c) Lyke, OMG…  
d) I swear, when I turn thirteen…

Question 23: Virginia says hi.

a) Ahhh! She's stalking me!  
b) –avoids eye contact-  
c) Um…hi?  
d) Go torture a Rainbow Monkey, kid.

Question 35: What do you think about Bartie?

a) Virginia does _not _deserve him.  
b) Correction: He doesn't deserve Virginia.  
c) I think he's adorable.  
d) Who's Bartie?

Question 60: Do you despise all Patton fangirls?

a) Yes! They are so freaking annoying!  
b) I am a Patton fangirl, you jerk! –whacks author with purse-  
c) I really don't care…  
d) Patton is hot…Patton is hot…Patton is hot…-snaps out of trance- What was the question?

Question 83: **(A/N: I actually found this in my Geometry textbook. I was doing my homework and encountered this exact problem with this exact name. And when my teacher was answering questions the next morning, he's all like, "This problem tells about…hmmm…let me check…" and I was like, "Sonia." So yeah, you don't want to listen to me rambling on anymore…so…carry on.) **Sonia is walking 2.5 miles home from school. She leaves at 4:00pm, and gets home at 4:45pm. Graph the line that represents Sonia's distance from school at a given time. Find and interpret the slope of the line.

a) Hey, I thought you said we wouldn't have to do any more math! Darn you!  
b) If she lives that far away, why doesn't she just take the bus? Duh!  
c) Aw, man, I hate graphing…  
d) Slope of the line…to heck with you! –smacks author- I didn't even pass Algebra 1 yet!

Question 84: Does Lee have total yo-yo skills?

a) Totally.  
b) Lee is so adorable…and glomp-able…  
c) He wears a ushanka! It's _hawt!_  
d) Lee…hmmm…I haven't seen him. Tell me, does he carry a yo-yo?

Question 85: Paddy is the Sector's "Self-Proclaimed Freak Show." What do you think of his haircut?

a) It—no offense to his father—sucks.  
b) That boy needs serious help.  
c) You are a sad, strange kid, and you have my pity. Farewell.  
d) I pity that kid. He has the worst family ever. –gets smacked on the head by Numbuh 86- Ow!

Question 86: Do you really believe that Fanny has more Rainbow Monkeys than Kuki?

a) No one can have more Rainbow Monkeys thank Kuki.  
b) Stuffed pillowcases with creepy fixed smiles and those rainbows above their heads…and even worse…they have brand names and they're sold for like twenty bucks each.  
c) Wait…lemme count. One, two, three…  
d) Rainbow Monkeys, Rainbow Monkeys, oh so round and super chunky, bringing love wherever they go; everyone's made of a big rainbow!

**A/N: Okay, this definitely did NOT turn out very good! Oh well, please review! You know my threats! **


End file.
